Day 3.5

Friday October 5th 2012 I had a brilliant idea....why don't I quit smoking tonight???  I only have a few smokes left and I am tired of the smell, my blood pressure going through the roof, the addiction of it all....so why not????
The first couple days were easier than I expected.  Today....not so much!!!!  I want to cry all the time, I am coughing - it is almost like the Green Mile...'all dat evil is comin' out me'- I don't feel like doing shit...not my homework, not my work, not anything.
I have been researching quitting smoking today and even called the Illinois help quit line.  Was cold turkey my first choice???  Hell NO...my insurance does not cover Chantix, and who has $250 laying around?  Funny, my insurance would pay for me if I had a stroke or heart attack related to smoking, but the bitches won't pay to help me quit....that is brilliant if you ask me. (Yes, me and my inner goddess just rolled our eyes under the half moon spectacles while reading the Charles Dickens Trilogy and sipping a mojito - Fifty shades reference for all you no Fifties out there).
So, here I sit, crying, chewing my nails, and plotting the revenge of the next person who dares to piss me off. FYI - it will be an awesome revenge, I wouldn't try it at home if I were you.
Here is my letter to my last cigarette....
Dear Cigarette;
Why did you manipulate me, I was 17 when I first loved you and you have played with my head ever since.  You told me you were good for me, you would calm me, you would release my tension.
All you did was raise my blood pressure, make me stink of smoke, make me so addicted I would freak if my   pack was down to 5 smokes or less, cause my breathing to become labored, but I still loved you.
You can tell Mr. Marlboro man to suck it....I am done!!!!  You are like a deadbeat ex boyfriend who won't leave me alone.  Back off bitch - I know Tae Kwon Do, yeah...I am a Yellow Belt (whyyyyyaaaaaa).  Fear me.
Nothing but contempt;
Michelle