Blah, blah, blah...this week has dragged on forever!!!! I try not to think of smoking...I know all the health benefits I am reaping just in this first week. I never was in love with smoking, it was a habit, an addiction, something to do. I never liked the taste, the smell or the affects. SO WHY AM I MISERABLE????? I am eating the freakin door off the refrigerator. I am frustrated all the time, moody and as I began this blog....just blah!!! I am scared to death of smelling a person smoking....I might go sniff on them like my beagle, Presley sniffs on her puppy sister Khloe....ewwww I do not want to sniff a smokers ass, I meant sniff the smoke...helllloooo.
I keep trying to tell myself...you can do this...you are doing your body good (like a big cold glass of milk - it does a body good), I try to be upbeat and funny...and I try in this blog to make light of it. But the big and short of this is as damaging as smoking is...it has a strong hold on a person. I thank God every day I am not an alcoholic or a drug addict, I have known my share of each...and still do - you know who you are - go get help - but why oh why do I still have that urge to smoke? Son of a Bitch I want a cigarette!!!! Damn you Marlboro ultra light 100's you are an asshole!!!! You never did anything good for me and I want you bad. Like some of my past relationships - who shall remain nameless - I wanted the bad boys who treated me like my Marlboro - like shit.
Well - times are changing!!! I am in charge and all that bad mojo can kiss my left cheek!!! I have a great guy - thanks Joe, and my lungs are beginning to talk to me again - thanks lungs (breathing is heavy - but they said to expect that for a few weeks...they be clearing shit up), I am back in charge bitches!!!! No person, or drug (Marlboro man I am talking to you) will rule me again!!! muahahahahaha
I have read in a few places that nicotine is the hardest addiction to quit....I have never been addicted to anything else so I would not know...I am not shaking and convulsing on the outside, but on the inside I am walking with my inner goddess on the mean streets hustling for a cigarette.
Read these articles - fo shizzle my nizzle, nicotine is worse than crack - that is whack (thanks Whitney, I will always love you):
http://www.nytimes.com/1987/03/29/magazine/nicotine-harder-to-kickthan-heroin.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/addiction-in-society/200812/the-7-hardest-addictions-quit-love-is-the-worst (Love & food beat out cigarettes on this list - REALLY??? I am screwed!!!)
Elizabeth Hartney wrote in 2012 (http://addictions.about.com/b/2012/09/23/nicotine-can-be-the-hardest-drug-to-quit.htm)
"It seems ironic, but many people who have successfully quit meth, heroin, or crack cocaine, still can't give up cigarettes. Nicotine withdrawal is just too unpleasant and the cravings are too intense."
Until we meet again....M
No comments:
Post a Comment